Aristotle on Friendship
Aristotle’s philosophy of friendship and whether the happy person needs friends
(Extract from essay)
Aristotle says there are three kinds of friendship; on account of virtue, pleasure or usefulness. Friendships for the sake of utility are likely to dissolve once the usefulness has ran its course, such as a business relationship or working on a project together. Friendships of pleasure can be terminated if this feeling comes to an end, seeing as the reason for the bond was not based on the character of the person but only of the pleasure brought. The highest form being, ‘perfect friendship […] of men who are good, and alike in virtue; for these wish well alike to each other qua good, and they are good in themselves’ (1156b5). This is not incidental friendship based on usefulness or pleasure, although the ‘perfect’ friend would be pleasurable company and useful. It appears Aristotle is saying that only those who are morally perfect are capable of having friendships of the virtuous kind. However, according to Cooper, Aristotle’s definition of friendship ‘is any relationship characterised by mutual liking […] that is, by mutual well-wishing and well-doing out of concern for one another’ (Cooper, 1980 : 302) and this well-wishing can be reciprocated between people in a relationship of pleasure or utility, even if it is to ensure their own gain. Cooper understood that, ‘Aristotle does not make friendship of the central kind the exclusive preserve of moral heroes’, and that he ‘does not maintain that friendships of the derivative kinds are wholly self-centered’ (Cooper, 1980 : 305). This is important to discuss in terms of the psychology of the average person and how if goodwill is not exclusive to a relationship of virtue, it makes friendship more common and therefore an intrinsic part of our nature and connected to our happiness.
Aristotle says, ‘it is better to spend his days with friends and good men than with strangers or any chance persons’ (1169b10-20). It is made clear that the ‘supremely happy man’ will have no need for friends only for usefulness or pleasantness. However, as for friends of the virtuous kind, he ‘will need friends of this sort, since his purpose is to contemplate worthy actions and actions that are his own’, and we are able to see these qualities in a good friend (1170a). Motivation to act justly is a benefit which springs from friendship, as ‘if he were solitary, life would be hard for him; for by oneself it is not easy to be continuously active; but with others and towards others it is easier’ (1170a5). Friendship requires action, time spent together and investment and is therefore connected with activities over a period of time and an enduring type of commitment. Friends can help us to reflect as we see virtues in them reflected in us or areas of our character we wish to develop; ‘A certain training in virtue arises from the company of the good’ (1170a10). Aristotle concludes that because the good man perceives existence as good and pleasant and will see this in a friend as ‘another self’ it is natural that he would want to realise this with company, ‘living together and sharing in discussion and thought’ (1170b5-10). It seems important to be able to share intimate thoughts with a trusted person, showing our psychological need for closeness with others.
Ultimately, as revealed in Book X (Nicomachean Ethics), political activity is a secondary form of happiness with the life of a philosopher being the primary kind, where excellent rational activity engaged in for its own sake leads to the most complete form of happiness. Sophia (contemplation) is more durable than phronesis (practical wisdom) being based upon eternal, universal topics such as the laws of nature as opposed to the instable worldly matters which phronesis is linked to. Engaging in Sophia with another person, a friend, whom is rare and who we can trust, will enhance our contemplation by sharing our thoughts and understanding of the world, leading us to new, deeper insights. So, if the philosopher’s life is the best life, the question is do they need friends in order to be happy in their life of contemplation? Aristotle said, ‘if we look deeper in to things, a virtuous friend seems to be naturally desirable for a virtuous man’ (1170a10) and, ‘that which is desirable for him he must have, or he will be deficient in this respect. The man who is to be happy will therefore need virtuous friends’ (1170b15).
“The man who is to be happy will therefore need virtuous friends”